Clean Slate

I've thought for some time now that my blog has never really found it's place. It doesn't fit in anywhere and it feels like a version of me at secondary school. I found, at school, that actually it wasn't all in my head I really was different from all those girls, I had no interest in boys or even friends really I just really loved learning. I loved reading and writing and handing in my crisp coursework that was perfectly edited and had been done a week in advance. I was interested in making myself look presentable, more than presentable I loved doing my hair, make-up and pampering myself in the bath every evening after school. The fact that girls knew I was different upset me at first, I would sit puzzled over why the girls would call me 'slut' and 'whore' and would leave me out at school when in fact I'd never even had a boyfriend. But now I see that it's ok to be different and people will accept you for you.

My blog is going in a direction that I don't want it to go in, I feel like I'm trying to write posts that I love reading on my favourite fashion and beauty blogs but only putting in half the effort because it's not really where my passion lies, and in all honesty I'm not good at it. I'm not good at photographing things or describing my outfits or make-up. I am good at writing a diary, writing lists, expressing my feelings and my views are almost always the exact opposite of everyone elses. My friends and family always tell me how opinionated and blunt I am and how well I articulate things so why am I holding back? Why am I worried about what other people think? I understand that maybe I will lose some readers after changing the direction of my blog but I hope that you will all stick with me and my blog, things are about to get a bit more real! I'm going to inject some personality into my blog, with words and feelings and thoughts about real things. Clothes and make-up are taking a back seat, those are not the things I think about before going to sleep at night. So from now on I'm going to treat this blog like a diary, like a vent for all the things I think and feel. It won't always be right, it won't always be pretty but it will be me.